Why is it so hard to forgive? It sets us free, dissolves the burden of resentments, and invites us to choose happiness over righteousness. And yet, the rational mind often rejects forgiveness, perceives it as unacceptable because it does not fit in our logical world view of justice. According to Carolyn Myss, "Forgiveness is, in fact, the most irrational spiritual task you could be given because it stands in direct opposition to all that you have been taught about fairness and justice."
Aside from giving up our insistence on earthly justice, being hurt or traumatized can be a powerful identity that gets attention and has a sort of social privilege. People get to be on TV talk shows and compete to determine who is the most victimized. And yet, it takes effort to remain that angry and bitter. We have to feed it with our negative thoughts, justifying and rationalizing ourselves into living in the injury that was done to us as if it was still happening. For many of us, living in past wounds has become a deeply ingrained and unconscious process. Perhaps we can liken it to an addiction since we continue to do it compulsively despite negative consequences that may include loss of relationships and physical illness. Eventually we continue to do it to simply to alleviate the anxiety of not doing it. After all, we know how to handle what we are used to doing, and have no idea what might happen if we were to actually let go of the past.
The soul part of ourself recognizes our interconnectedness and votes for surrendering all resentments, perceiving there is no need to perpetuate more suffering by holding onto injury. Instead, the soul shifts focus to thoughts that support living in harmony with ourselves, others, and the world around us. If that part of us were totally in charge without the balancing effects of ego, we might forget to feed ourselves or come in out of the weather. The healthy ego focuses on individual survival and does the necessary work to keep us alive. But if out of balance, the ego can become "all about me" with little regard for others. When soul and ego collaborate and work in harmony amazing things can be accomplished, including the emotional freedom that accompanies forgiveness.