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Conversations For Change

Weekly Tidbit: Beginner\'s Mind

5/5/2010

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Shoshin, a Buddhist word usually translated as 'Beginner's Mind', refers to having an attitude of openness, enthusiasm, and  freedom from conceptual encumbrances.  It refers to the cultivation of an attitude or spirit where our perception is neither contaminated or limited by our cognitive thoughts and beliefs. The classic metaphor for this is the image of being unable to add more liquid to a cup that is already full; we need to first empty the cup. Beginner's Mind is a regarded as a highly effective way to learn something new, and it is often challenging to the human thought process with its tendency to try to make something fit into an existing schemata. 

Approaching something with a preconceived notion of how it will turn out alters the experience and limits the possibility of new outcomes. The ego mind, the part of us that is attached to being right in order to survive in the physical world, will often make assumptions about a situation and then set out to prove them true.  For example, if we have had an experience that leads us to conclude that horses are dangerous, our expectations will have us looking for things to be fearful of when we are around horses. We may misinterpret a horse's behavior to fit our beliefs and miss the equine beauty, strength, and intelligence because we are busy trying to protect ourselves from our own fearful imaginings. And if the object of our projected fear is sensitive to it, the outcome may indeed prove self fulfilling. 

The  Zen story of the blind committee members each examining a portion of an elephant and coming to very different conclusions as to the nature of the beast further illustrates how thinking that we understand something limits our ability to truly understand it. The "been there, done that" concept of believing we can know the bigger picture from our small piece of limited experience leaves us with a conception of reality that is not accurate in terms of the whole picture. Cultivating Beginner's Mind can encourage us to open our awareness and allow the experience of the present moment without trying to fit it into the box of the past.

When we recognize that our ego mind has taken charge of a situation we can then choose to inhibit those limiting thoughts and  redirect our spirit to expand awareness, to inquiry and exploration instead of knowing and being right. If we ask questions and listen to the answers with curiosity and appreciation, we can explore the different points of view held by others in the situation. In the example above, we could put ourselves in the shoes of the horse and imagine his perspective. In a conflict with a friend, we could become willing to see things through their eyes for a few moments. We could even think about the thoughts of an impartial observer to stretch our awareness and options. Instead of trying to confirm what we already think we know, we can become curious about new and different experience. We can choose to become willing to empty our cup to make room for new information.

In the words of the Zen master Shunryu Suzuki, "In the beginners mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few." One of my teachers used to say the same thing another way: "If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you always got". By allowing a new viewpoint and a clearer understanding of ourselves, Beginner's Mind can transform setbacks into something positive. If we accept responsibility for our disappointments and can look at our own limitations without judging them, we can glean a clearer understanding our ourselves that allows us to create new and more desirable experiences instead of repeating the old ones. 


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Weekly Tidbit: The Different Ways We Learn

3/3/2010

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One of the things I like about coaching is that it focuses on the different ways people learn and invites the integration of information using an individual's strengths. This can have a huge positive impact on a person's self image especially if they have learned to judge themselves in comparison to how others process information and equate 'different' with 'not good enough'. 

Some years back a teenager was referred to me  because she was in danger of being asked to leave school as the result of  behavioral problems. She was in her third school system and her parents were at a loss as to where she might go if she was unable to matriculate in this one. They reported that she did not do her schoolwork, often did not go to school, and when she did go, she was attitudinal with teachers and frequently got into fights with other students. Therapy was offered to her as a last resort and she was not exactly happy about it, so our initial sessions were about her frustration and despair. Listening to her, it was apparent that she had taken in a lot of criticism and judgement about her abilities and had come to see herself as stupid, hopeless and incompetent. And it was also apparent that she evidenced an extraordinary amount of insight into the relationship dynamics in her friendships and was gifted with compassion and humor. This girl was by no means lacking intelligence, but she surely was having trouble learning in a traditional educational system. She was unable to effectively assimilate information via the printed word or even in a lecture. Written language and one dimensional sound tracks did not compute well in her system, but experiential processes that allowed her to be actively involved in real time interactions showed her to be very bright. As we continued to explore a more kinesthetic approach to learning, she began to shift her perception and think that maybe she was smart and had viable skills. The tone and pace of our sessions changed dramatically as she developed a framework to make sense of her academic struggles and became able to ask her teachers for what she needed at school to facilitate her comprehension. She graduated high school and went on to make a successful career for herself in a field that optimized her skill base. Her biggest challenge had been to learn how she learned. 

Human intelligence manifests in a myriad of ways. We commonly think of left brain logical cognition and right brain emotional processes; those categories are simplistic and possibly not even really accurate. In addition to (or perhaps resultant from) the different physiological and biochemical components of intelligence, there are also huge differences in orientation. Some of us are visually oriented, and often project our own vision onto external reality. And then get disappointed with another doesn't get the same picture. Some people literally think in pictures rather than words. Others are primarily attuned to sound and audio responses. Intuitive and intellectual, they sometimes hear their own inner dialogue louder than external conversations, and are often interpretive and analytic. Kinesthetically oriented people are natural discoverers and learn by doing; they may tend to be overly compassionate with others and dubious of a logical approach. Digital style people lean towards being rational and logical, often scholarly and brilliant, but their heart connection may not be easily accessible. Each orientation is accompanied by both assets and challenges. Picture a digitally oriented father lecturing to a kinesthetically oriented teenage daughter and you can get how easy it is to hit roadblocks in communicating with someone whose style is not the same as yours. When we are able to understand our own learning style, and then how it interfaces with that of someone else, we improve our abilities to communicate, to get our needs met, and to create more of what we want in this life. 





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Weekly Tidbit: Finding New Balance

7/1/2009

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I'm learning HTML, also known as Hypertext Mark-up Language, the predominant language for creating web pages. This is a phenomenal experience for me; computer technology has intimidated me for the longest time. I have always been right brain dominant: intuitive, creative, holistic, artistic, sensitive. I remember being chastised by a friend while playing pinochle when he asked me why I played a certain card and I told him "it felt like the right move". He counted every card and calculated odds for each play, and got rather upset when I won using intuition over rational logic. But that was my approach to most things. So for me to submerge myself in a world of linear constructs is both fascinating and foreign. I am looking at it from the perspective of integrating my brain function, of creating more balance in my thinking.

Finding balance in today's world can be challenging. We are encouraged to focus, to specialize, to find our niche. The problem with that philosophy is that a niche is also a shallow recess and there is often not a lot of room to grow in a shallow space. So choosing to take on a project that stimulates a routinely quiet part of the brain is one way to encourage a growth spurt, to upset the balance of the status quo in order to obtain a new balance that includes more of the whole.

Culturally, we are encouraged to take on the thinking characteristics believed to be associated with our gender, and frequently discouraged from expanding into the opposite meadowland for fear of not attracting a mate. "Don't let them see how smart you are, boys don't like that" and "Big boys don't cry" were common refrains in my childhood. And while in the 21st century, that appears to have changed on the surface, the underlying scripts live deep inside and die hard and slow, and can prohibit us from finding talents that are there for discovery. And it occurs to me that perhaps my rational linear thought process was active all along and mere hiding behind and guiding my intuition. 


Research indicates that people who actively use their minds and have positive emotional outlook are less likely to develop diseases like Alzheimer's because they are continually creating new neuron pathways and avoiding  the plaques and tangles. So much of our thoughts are repetitive (and unconscious)that intentionally inviting new ideas into our minds brings a flood of internal energy and vibration that keeps us vital and involved with life. So weather your primary arena is right or left, take on a learning experience that will stimulate your lesser involved  brain cells. Invite them to the party and have a good time teaching them to dance.


"If you practice using your instincts with small things, such as whether you need your jacket, you will eventually be able to rely on them for the big decisions in life."
 Bear Heart with Molly Larkin  in  The Wind is My Mother 



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    Author

    Charly Hill is a Life Skills Coach and Self Empowerment Teacher.
    She has a MA in counseling and recently retired her California Marriage, Family and Child Therapist license. 

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