Category: Change

October Tidbit: Growing Positive Change

10/12/2013

More than 100,000 chemical reactions occur in our brains every second. When we change the way we look at things and what we believe, the biochemistry of the brain changes with our thoughts and affects how we function in the world on a multitude of levels. Take a minute to think of a time when you felt deeply loved. As you allow the sensations of love and appreciation to fill you, the chemistry of your brain is altering and a plethora of happy brain chemicals such as norepinephrine and dopamine are being released. These chemicals change the look on your face, your digestion, your heart rate, your judgement, and your reactions to the people and events around you. As a result, your whole world shifts.

Another example of how this works is with stress. When we are experiencing fear, the biochemistry of the brain produces chemicals to prepare for flight or fight. It doesn't matter whether you are fearful of losing your job or of meeting a deadline, body function dampens down in response to biochemistry to conserve energy and to prepare for escape or defense. This was appropriate for our ancestor when they came up against a saber tooth tiger, but this primitive response pattern doesn't work very well when we are sitting at the computer and don't have the energetic release of fight or flight. Fear is like a mind virus, and fear based beliefs like "I can't do this", "I'm not good enough", "something bad will happen if I rock the boat" spread through our operating systems much the same way as a computer virus. In a state of ongoing stress our body functions are continually repressed, including our immune system, so it makes sense that numerous diseases have been linked with chronic stress.

Your core belief system dictates whether you spend most of your time in a state of apprehension or a state of appreciation. The limiting beliefs of the cultural and family programs we grow up with have a powerful hold and unless we reach into where those programs live in the subconscious and make updates to that core operating system, they run the show. Probably as much as 95% of our daily behavior is the result of our unconscious formatting, most of which occurred when we were very young. And that is why I love working with the subconscious; miracles can happen when we remodel in that room.

Fortunately, the relationship between the unconscious and the conscious is a fluid one. Practices like mindfulness and meditation allows us to move from the chatter of our unconscious functions to making attentive choices. Tools like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and TAT (Tappas Accupressure Technique) allow us to actually reprogram unconscious patterning. It is the coherence of our belief system that manifests in our lives and we have ability to access and reorganize how that works.

One of our greatest gifts in this arena is our imagination. It allows us to create the world we want in our mind and to experience the feelings of that wish fulfilled. With imagination and visualization, we can trigger those positive 'feel good' chemicals. As an experiment one evening his week, think about something that you really want to manifest in your life. Find a place in your mind where there is freedom from all obstacles to obtaining it. Feel as if that wish is already fulfilled, already present and active in your life. Review it again just before you go to sleep and let your subconscious marinate overnight in that experience... and see what the next day brings.

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May Tidbit: Making Change

5/28/2012

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"Change is carrying out an activity against the habit of a lifetime".... FM Alexander

To be able to do something outside habitual activities is the goal of most people who seek coaching. Whether it is quitting a habit that has become a problem or learning to shift perspective, the essence of changing your life is being able to do something in different way. A desired change that seems challenging often goes against some personal survival program in operation beneath our awareness. Just as a child cannot carry out the threat of "I'm gonna hold my breath until I die!" , we cannot implement a change that threatens the security of our unconscious mind.

So why would losing weight or quitting smoking be so hard to do? Doesn't the unconscious mind know that it would be a good thing? It is important to remember that the unconscious mind is geared to survival. Experience says that the status quo is effective in keeping us alive, so any change is perceived as a possible threat.... even when we know we want that change. An activity that is hard to change usually has some beliefs about it being helpful or necessary that anchor it in place. Perhaps the behavior distracts you from uncomfortable feelings, or it seems to protect you in some way. You don't necessarily have to know what the specific beliefs are, but it is helpful to change how you use your mind if you want the behavior to change.

Some techniques allow us to make changes in how we think without having to re-experience whatever it was that established those belief patterns. A Tappas Acupressure Technique (TAT) session, for example, can create subtle shifts in internal awareness that lead to desired change without having to re-visit any emotional trauma. The Alexander Technique restores freedom to the body and the mind using lessons that implement the maxim of action following thought. Hypnosis can facilitate change by bring the conscious and unconscious into collaboration for a mutual goal.

One simple way to begin changing beliefs that are rooted in fear (and most limiting beliefs are) is to notice where you have support, both physical and emotional, and to choose to allow that support to provide some relief from tension. That in and of itself is a change, and further changes are more likely to happen in an environment of support than in an environment of tension. Whether it is from a person, a group, or the very earth beneath your feet, allow yourself to receive support, for support allows choices, opening doors to new possibilities in thought and action.

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March Tidbit: Legacies of Thought

3/28/2012

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A client once told me a story about her family that illustrates one of the bittersweet tendencies of the human mind. Every year her family gathered for Easter and a ham was served for the family dinner. And every year her mother would cut the end off the ham before putting it in the oven to cook. So one Easter, she asked "Mom, why do you always cut the end off the ham before you put it in the oven?" And her mom said, "I don't know, my mother always did it. Go ask her." So she went into the living room and asked her grandmother, who told her, "I don't know, honey, my mother always did it that way.... but come to think of it, it might have been because her pan was too small."

People carry on with behaviors and beliefs that are handed down through the generations, even if they are no longer necessary or helpful. There is sweetness is in the honoring our ancestors, paying tribute, albeit often unconscious, to what they taught us. And there is bitterness in that what we learned in past situations may no longer be true or appropriate today, and some can cause unwanted consequences.

I overheard a woman in a shop telling her friend that she could never lose weight because her mother told her that all the women in her family "had a problem with metabolism", so there was no point for her to even try. Other limiting examples include using guilt or criticism to try to motivate, taking on an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, trying to control others with aggressive behavior, and beliefs along the lines of 'nobody can tell me what to do' or 'not being good enough' that create life long patterns.

We can change the legacies that limit us if we are willing to pay enough attention to really notice them. And then ask ourselves whether we are willing to consciously choose to continue that specific behavior or belief. This is hard to do by yourself without support. When I tell clients that a sure fire way to lose weight is for them to write down everything they eat before they eat it, they are totally agreeable to the task. And it is a really simple task: write down what you are about to eat before you eat it so that you are aware of what you are eating. When I ask about it in our next conversation, they tell me they forgot, or couldn't find a pen, or wrote after they ate instead of before, or did it for one day and then lost their notebook. The experience of paying attention and making conscious choices is very powerful, and it can make the unconscious mind a little nervous. Forgetting is a powerful conversation for no change, as are other forms of denial. And, with attention, they too can become conscious and open to change. It is simple, but not easy, so ask for help if you need it.

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October Tidbit: Changing the Story

10/26/2011

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Several years ago while facilitating a creativity workshop, I asked the participants to decorate a box for a group exercise. One client told me she could not do the assignment because she was not artistically talented. She knew this because a 2nd grade school teacher had told her so, correcting the colors she had used in her drawing of the sky. And for 30 years she did not pick up a colored pencil, or paintbrush or gluepot. By the time she came to my workshop, the belief in her artistic ineptitude had become her truth. When she finally broke the mental constraint and set herself free, she was able to create a beautifully decorated box... and know more about her self.

We all have ideas about ourselves that are founded in the opinions of other. If a significant person tells you often enough that you are "lazy, crazy, bad, or ugly" odds are good that you will come to believe it. Especially if it is something you are repeatedly exposed to in your childhood when the doorways to the unconscious are more open and malleable. Whether or not it is grounded in truth is irrelevant, for once you come to believe and act as if it is true, it continues to manifest as your reality.

Sometimes we have beliefs that are the result of a conclusion we made from an experience that we might not have interpreted correctly. Perhaps you failed at something, say hitting a softball. And because some ill behaved yahoos laughed, you decided that you were clumsy and would never be good at sports. So the more you thought about not being good at sport the more you missed the ball, the more they laughed, the more convinced you became, and the more 'true' that story became, eventually becoming part of your operating system.

Once a belief is established in the unconscious mind and becomes part of the operating system that runs your programs, it can be challenging to change it. Hypnosis and the energy psychologies can open direct contact with the unconscious and have demonstrated good success in rewriting limiting beliefs. The practice of mindfulness and somatic awareness can also open access to the unconscious and effect significant change. Whatever path you choose, think about what would happen if you released the misinformation that the world has told you about yourself and changed your story. How would your life be different? Perhaps you would find yourself to be artistic, graceful, brilliant, happy and talented in ways you have not yet imagined.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from out fear our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

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Weekly Tidbit: Ways of Change

2/3/2010

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Have you ever wanted to change something about your life but found that despite your best intentions you kept on doing the same thing? Maybe you wanted to get more exercise .... or be more loving .... or to change what and how you eat. And somehow you 'forgot' to go to the gym, or reacted instantly to that other person's behavior with anger.... and ate that whole bag of chips. Change can be really challenging when different parts of us have different agendas, and that is often the case when we find we cannot make desired changes on our own.

Our conscious intention is a small part of our thinking process. The unconscious mind is the power beneath the surface and in many way acts like an auto pilot program. Which is mostly a good thing or we might spend a little too much time every day rethinking how we tie our shoelaces, how to make coffee, where to place our fingers on the piano keys. To take a look at how this process operates, think about learning something that you now do effortlessly, driving a car for example. In the beginning you probably broke it down to small pieces, learned and practiced each part, then put it all together and then when you were ready, let it go into the unconscious so you could focus your conscious attention on looking where you were going while you were driving. Oh, and then you sold that car and bought a stick shift so you had to bring back to consciousness the 'how to' of stopping and changing gears to add the clutch action, and then it went back to auto pilot mode. Pretty simple stuff, at least when it involves your car.

It gets a little trickier when core beliefs about ourselves that reside in the unconscious are in conflict with our stated intentions. If there are two conversations going at the same time, one arguing for the status quo and the other pushing for change, we can find ourselves at a stalemate. When I decide I want to change my career, but my unconscious mind believes it is not safe to let go of my present job in this economy, I may find myself sabotaging my best efforts by missing deadlines for class enrollment or being late for job interviews. Or if I don't believe I deserve to be prosperous, I may unconsciously create ways to incur debt or to resist receiving the money that comes my way. I may very much want to be in a loving relationship, but if I hold the belief that it is not safe to be vulnerable I may avoid letting anyone close enough or will choose partners who prove me right in my belief that it is not safe.

It is usually the relationship between the unconscious and conscious minds that needs realignment for us to achieve our desired goals. Two simple and basic ways to do this are 1.) inhibition and redirection approaches and 2.) the energy psychologies. You use inhibition and redirection when you learn how to change from a stick shift car to an automatic one. Cognitive behavioral therapies and stress reduction programs are often based on these principles. It is basically a 'stop that, do this instead' format that uses awareness, consciousness, and action, and often coaching or tutoring helps to make significant progress. Guitar or horseback riding lessons are great examples of how this operates. I've used hypnosis to successfully implement inhibition and redirection approaches in the unconscious, so hypnosis can sometimes be included in this category as well, even though it overlaps with the energy psychologies in many ways.

The energy psychologies approach change from a different angle and do not require the same level of cognitive involvement and conscious action. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) will sometimes bring unconscious beliefs to conscious awareness during the experience of tapping on specific points on the face and upper body, often in an 'ah ha' epiphany. Other times the inner change occurs without conscious awareness that anything has happened. Some methods, like Tappas Acupressure Technique (TAT), work beneath the surface of consciousness, and are therefore especially good for people suffering from the aftereffects of trauma as they do not need to revisit the specific wounds. Psych K, another energy approach, has been described as learning "to rewrite the software of your unconscious mind" and the use of computer analogy is probably a good way to look at the operations of our minds. A special quality of these energy techniques, as with computer software, is that you can learn with specialized training how to do it yourself or you can have a professional 'technician' rewrite the program..... and it works either way.

This is simply an overview of two approaches to encourage positive changes into your life. There are, of course, many other ways that reorganization occurs, and people have individual preferences as to how they best learn and change. Bringing your conscious and unconscious minds into a collaborative relationship rather than an oppositional one is a powerful facilitator for creating more of what we want. Making desired changes is easier now with the advent of energy psychologies and they can also be used in conjunction with more traditional approaches.

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Weekly Tidbit: Puppy Paws on the Blanket

11/11/2009

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One day some years ago I was at Muir Beach in northern California with my dog Toby. Toby was a really great dog, but he had a nasty habit of rolling in things that smelled bad. Well, on this day he found a ripe stinky dead fish and had a very vigorous back roll on it. And then, being delighted with the experience, he wanted to share the joy and snuggle up next to me while I was reading on my blanket. I did not like the idea of being cozy with a fetid dog, so I spread out a towel for him downwind and instructed him to lay himself down on it. When he did, I returned to reading my book. Within a few minutes there was a white paw next to me on my blanket. I looked at it and thought about what happens when you let a camel put his nose in your tent. And also thought about how I did not want to ruin the energy of this beautiful beach day by chastising him, so I just picked up the paw without comment and put it back on his towel. Less than a minute later it was back on my blanket and I returned it to his towel, again without saying anything. This went on for probably 6 or 8 more times until finally I heard a deep sigh and Toby settled down for a nap. The paw did not return, and I was grateful for the undisturbed beauty of the day and especially for the breeze blowing sweetly over us carrying his pungent scent away.

Afterwards, I thought about how this mirrored an approach to changing human conduct as well as canine behavior. To simply hold an intention (no stinky dogs on blanket), inhibit behavior that does not support that intention (pick up the paw to prevent further intrusion) and redirect the action to support the intention (return paw to towel). So if I want to change a behavior or thought pattern, I can apply the protocol of "puppy paws on the blanket" with the recognition that I may have to repeat the process over and over and over until the new response settles in. That is the part that Toby taught me.... to be gently and firmly persistent. Too often, we give up after the second or third try and then need a crisis to bring our attention back to the now dramatic need for change. Determine your desired change, break it down into manageable pieces, attend to each step with loving attention and repeat as needed. We have the ability to change ourselves, and sometimes we can use a guide to show the way

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Weekly Tidbit: Making Changes

7/8/2009

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The culture and family influences we are born into and grow up with have a powerful hold. No matter how much exposure we have to other experiences or beliefs on a conscious level, unless we reach into where the original program lives in the subconscious mind and make updates, that old program stays pretty much the same. Which is why positive affirmations or cognitive restructuring techniques are often not as effective as we would like them to be. It is estimated that 85-95% of our behavior is the result of our unconscious formatting, most of which occurred when we were very young.

In a radio interview with Wayne Dwyer, Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief, made the statement that the "function of the mind is to create coherence between your beliefs and your life" and that thoughts and feelings are not just in your head, they are "broadcast through the body as if with a tuning fork". Lipton, a cellular biologist, notes that there is a difference in the biochemical makeup between a tear of joy and a tear of sadness, indicating the power of our emotions to effect change on a biochemical level. His suggestion is to create what it is you want in your mind, to use your imagination. Then assume the feeling of that desire fulfilled. Imagine and create what it would it feel like in your mind and in your body to have that which you desire. Go to the place in your mind where all is possible. Do this just before you go to sleep, while you are in that hypnogogic state where the conscious and the unconscious are making the transfer of control. And "let your subconscious marinate overnight".

Making that connection between the conscious and the unconscious is easier than you might think. When we involve the body and the mind together in harmonious activity we can also make that linkage. Affirmations In Motion (AIM) takes the thoughtful intention and joins it with energy moving through the body to support the manifestation of desired change. Energy Psychology offers a variety of approaches to making subconscious shifts. I have used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and TAT (Tappas Acupressure Technique) both personally and professionally to effect powerful changes. This is why I love working with the subconscious; miracles can and do happen when we remodel in that room.

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Weekly Tidbit: Change in Consciousness

4/8/2009

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For years people have believed in the immutable power of genetics as the primary factor in human behavior and condition. While the debate between nature and nurture continues, isolated genes have been given credit for ADD and heart disease and dyslexia and cancer and a whole range of dis-eases. I have often heard people use family history as immutable evidence of not being able to change being overweight or some other issue in their life. However, the dogma of DNA as the immutable determiner is now being challenged in the fields of energy psychology and energy medicine.

"Scientists are discovering the precise pathways by which changes in human conscousness produce changes in human bodies. As we think our thoughts and feel our feelings, our bodies respond with a complex array of shifts. Each thought or feeling unleashes a particular cascade of biochemicals in our organs. Each experience triggers genetic changes in our cells" writes Dawson Church, in his book, The Genie in Your Genes. If experiencing trauma triggers genetic change, must the healing of trauma also effect genetic re-organization? And if each thought or feeling sets off biochemical changes what happens to those of us who live with a daily barrage of unpleasant reactivity due to stressful work or living environments?

Back in the day, I learned a technique called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) that evoked an accelerated processing of a targeted trauma memory. At that time, it was acknowledged that current understanding of neurobiology did not provide a scientifically exact explanation as to how it worked but many of us who used it in our clinical practice really didn't care because it was effective in reducing trauma symptoms in our clients. Today we have Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Tappas Accupressure Technique (TAT)that offer ways to effect internal changes that seem at times almost magical in their effectiveness. Having recently resolved an issue using EFT that had been problematic for 15 years and unresponsive to a multitude of other treatment approaches, I will testify as to the impressive power of these methods. And if "Magic is no more than a change in consciousness," as Jamie Sams and David Carson propose, then magic these techniques are in their ability to produce change in our physiological as well as psychological being.

What a magical world we live in today. With new understanding of energy medicine and energy psychology we are finding tools to support our ability to manifest the changes we desire. What it takes is to choose where you put your attention, open your mind, and begin. Not to say that it is always easy, as most of us have a lot of programming to overcome. But it is starting to seem pretty simple, and it can start with the intention and practice of choosing love over fear. And then opening to the tools and resources that are available to you.

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October Tidbit: Growing Positive Change

May Tidbit: Making Change

March Tidbit: Legacies of Thought

October Tidbit: Changing the Story

Weekly Tidbit: Ways of Change

Weekly Tidbit: Puppy Paws on the Blanket

Weekly Tidbit: Making Changes

Weekly Tidbit: Change in Consciousness

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