Last night I listened to a speaker who shared his technique for dealing with someone who was upset or angry. His approach was very simple; he would silently pay attention to the person while thinking "I am here for you." He told his audience that he would just repeat that unspoken phrase in his mind and that the responses he got were pretty consistent. People would rant and rave and then lose steam and then come around to a reasonable perspective of their own accord, often with an apology for their spew.
I was reminded how powerful is the position of 'no resistance', to simply accept. Too often our excuses, the 'automatic no', or our need to be right put us in a position of conflict and struggle. There seems to be a part of human nature that argues, questions, insists on things being a certain way right now. To surrender our need to control is actually an empowering move. Many of the martial arts follow this precept. Twelve Step recovery programs practice the principle of 'surrender to win'. Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King brought about significant social change using non resistance. By surrendering to the reality of what is, we become free to flow in the experience without creating discord and can make choices that lead to positive outcomes.
If one of the most powerful components of positive change is the letting go of resistance, learning to become aware of how you resist is important especially since much of it is unconscious. Abraham Hicks suggest that our emotions can help us be aware of when we are resisting. When we are feeling bad, that is a good indicator that we are 'pushing against' something. And "..... when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous, when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times, there is no resistance within you."
A wise man said to me the other day, "The capacity for acceptance is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your misery". Letting go of resistance by accepting what is allows more joy into our lives and supports our ability to create what we want, a lovely paradox of becoming powerful by giving up trying to control. The contrast between the emotions of acceptance and those of struggle helps our awareness and can be used to guide our choices.
I was reminded how powerful is the position of 'no resistance', to simply accept. Too often our excuses, the 'automatic no', or our need to be right put us in a position of conflict and struggle. There seems to be a part of human nature that argues, questions, insists on things being a certain way right now. To surrender our need to control is actually an empowering move. Many of the martial arts follow this precept. Twelve Step recovery programs practice the principle of 'surrender to win'. Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King brought about significant social change using non resistance. By surrendering to the reality of what is, we become free to flow in the experience without creating discord and can make choices that lead to positive outcomes.
If one of the most powerful components of positive change is the letting go of resistance, learning to become aware of how you resist is important especially since much of it is unconscious. Abraham Hicks suggest that our emotions can help us be aware of when we are resisting. When we are feeling bad, that is a good indicator that we are 'pushing against' something. And "..... when you are laughing, when you are applauding, when you are joyous, when you are feeling that feeling of appreciation pulsing through you, in those times, there is no resistance within you."
A wise man said to me the other day, "The capacity for acceptance is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your misery". Letting go of resistance by accepting what is allows more joy into our lives and supports our ability to create what we want, a lovely paradox of becoming powerful by giving up trying to control. The contrast between the emotions of acceptance and those of struggle helps our awareness and can be used to guide our choices.
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