There is an old Chinese parable about a water bearer who carried his water pots on a pole across his neck as he walked from the stream to the house. One of his pots had a crack in it and would lose about half of its water before the bearer reached his destination. The cracked pot grew more and more ashamed of this flaw and told the bearer that he was sorry to be so damaged and worthless. The bearer smiled and suggested the cracked pot look back along the way they had traveled, and to notice the flowers on one side of the path. He told the pot that he had known all along about the flaw and he had planted seeds along the side of the path that was watered by the leaking pot. Without the crack in the pot there would be no flowers, so he was grateful to the cracked pot for adding beauty to his world.
Sometimes our flaws can lead to beauty and sometimes they can even bring us wisdom. The man whose addiction controls his behavior can discover how to build a sober life and share his experience, strength and hope with others. The woman whose anger pushes people away can acquire tools to manage not only her anger but her other feelings as well, opening the door to joy and intimacy. Even our physical cracked places can be sources of information and personal growth; it was the experience of shattering five ribs in a fall from a horse that taught me how to ask for help. We are all cracked pots. The cracks are what makes us interesting and they offer opportunities for growth.
Instead of viewing our worth as diminished by perceived flaws like the cracked pot in the story, we can choose to be happy with who we are even with our cracks. Positive emotions support our ability to bring about desired changes. Good feelings motivate and create more of what makes us feel good. Being unhappy about what we see as damaged or broken tends to generate more unhappiness. You can think about it as "like attracts like", or choosing your thoughts to make your reality, or simply as a way to feel better so you can create better.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That is how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen
RSS Feed