Category: Awareness

June Tidbit: The Small Pleasures of the Day

6/23/2012

There are times we can get so caught up in external events that we lose our perspective and spiral into dark emotions. Balance is lost, irritability and fear predominate. Whether it is reaction to a trauma or loss, ongoing stressors, or just being too busy for too long, our vision narrows and the things we do become mundane, habitual and effortful. Joy has gone missing and inner voices whisper old scripts of not being good enough, of never getting what you want, of it being too late.

Sometimes we can just brush that off and recover our usual good humor. And sometimes we linger in the shadows far longer than is in our best interest. One way to encourage the restoration of balance in emotion and outlook is to pay attention to the small pleasures that the day offers. Your morning "cuppa", be it tea or coffee or whatever, offers opportunity to smell and taste and savor, to be fully present in the moment. The beauty of the sky, the structure of the clouds, the way sunlight falls upon an object can feed beauty to your eyes and mind if you allow yourself to see. A favourite song, the words of a friend, the sound of birds singing can be opportunities to turn your mind to gratitude and appreciation.

If you struggle with troubling thoughts there is a Hawaiian tool for clearing past actions and memories, for assisting atonement and reconciliation. Called Ho'oponopono, the simplest approach is to run the following phrases through your mind and/or give them voice: "I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. And I thank you." Use these phrases to replace whatever mind chatter has been creating your distress. (For more on the Huna practice of Ho'oponopono, consult your favourite search engine.)

When we allow the externals of life to be in charge of our experience, we engage our victim archetype. Instead we could call out our natural child to see the world with wonder, or the storyteller to create a new framework for perspective, or the alchemist to transform the mundane and envision the spiritual workings of the world. We get to choose whether our locus of control is internal or external. All day long, we have the choice of where we put our attention.

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October Tidbit: Conscious Creation

10/8/2010

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I did an Alexander exercise with my yoga students this week. Without physically moving, using only their conscious awareness, I asked them to lengthen and widen their dominant arm, starting at the shoulder and mentally working each segment of the arm and hand down to the fingertips. As they focused their thoughts on lengthening and widening, it was impressive to see the "conscious" arms become significantly longer and "fluffier" than the "unconscious arms".... up to three inches longer on one student. They reported feelings of lightness and fluidity in the dominant limbs... feelings that they created with their thought process.

This phenomenon is not simply about relaxation and letting go of tension, but rather about bringing a level of conscious observation that invites recognition of our ability to create experience in our lives. It brings consciousness to the appreciation of the sensations of the here and now, to the presence of the moment and our relationship with it. No regrets about yesterday, no worries about tomorrow cloud the awareness; it is just this experience right now. It moves us away from the memories of old pain that tend to replicate themselves when we give them attention.

Ever been in love? Think about your focus of attention during that time. Being in love heightens the quality of our immediate presence. Our best times with the beloved are in the moment, full of appreciation and joy. With conscious awareness of self in proximity to another with an open heart, things appear different, better. We are in tune with our interconnectedness, of being part of something larger than our single self. We are bathed in happy emotions and delightful sensations generated by our openness and willingness to engage in relationship with what the present moment offers. We radiate appreciation and create a harmonic convergence with another.

"I long to escape the prison of my ego and lose myself in the desert and mountains", wrote the mystic poet Rumi. When we go to our special place, whether it is at the beach or sitting in a tree, we allow ourselves to live each breath as part of the landscape, part of the larger whole. The magnificence of the sunset or the wave or the rock formation engages us in this very place and time, and our soul soars. Again, as with the experience of being in love, we are filled to the brim with astounding sensory input and our emotions are illuminated with grace. We recognize the interconnectedness of all and know we are part of it; our ego and our soul self come into balance and we are fully present with what is.

Notice what happens when we start to think about what comes next. When we make our "to do" list, or worry about what could go wrong, project into the future or compare to the past. We exit the moment, we leave that place of feeling connected and we separate ourselves from the whole. We awaken fear, an acronym for "false evidence appearing real," and we create the pain of loss and separateness. Our bodies constrict and tighten in futile attempts to protect from injury and old pain patterns return to our thinking and to our bodies. Taken to the extreme, we fragment and fall apart because we have lost our ground, lost our connection with our environment and taken up residence in our head. Often we end up recreating past history with our critical and fearful projections. The ego has taken control and is no longer in balance with the soul self.

So how do we stay in the joy of the moment and still get things done? We need to think about the future and go buy groceries and make plans and call for an appointment to take the car to the shop. We need the individualism of ego to survive on this earth and can't always be in that 'la la' place of connected bliss. Or can we? Is it possible to stay connected to it even as we "leave the beloved" for a specific purpose when we need to plan or take action for the future? What if we are open to noticing when we exit the present moment and make an intentional choice as to whether it is in our best interest to do so at this particular time? And what if we hold the honest intention to return to our conscious awareness, to 'our Beloved' (and, know that according to Rumi, "everyone is a shadow of the Beloved"). With practice and willingness, we can learn to flow back and forth as needed, altering our perspective with conscious choice and redirection instead of unconscious reactivity.... if we pay attention and take responsibility. We can learn to lengthen and widen our thoughts as well as our arms. We can challenge the old beliefs that insist we need to close down our heart in order to have time to ourselves, to feel safe. Perhaps the strongest heart is the one that remains open, that chooses to love and be present with what is. And perhaps it is in the heart that the ego and the soul self best practice collaboration and honor our dual nature of being a spiritual entity in a physical body.

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Weekly Tidbit: Observation

1/13/2010

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I remember a day that I was undergoing a root canal and had planned to use self hypnosis to deal with the pain of the surgery instead of chemical anesthesia. My dentist had become so accustomed to me using hypnosis for minor dental procedures that he assumed I was ready to go before I had put myself in the necessary mental frame. With a mouth full of dental devices and an approaching drill, I felt a moment of "not ready!" panic and then let it go in order to find a place in my body that was pain free and as far away from my mouth as I could get. I intuitively dove as if off a high dive in my mind down to my ankle and observed the operation from that perspective. I knew what was happening, I could hear and feel the vibration of the drill, but I was not "in" the experience of the root canal surgery. I was in the pure "observer" place, away from physical and emotional pain.

This is an interesting example of how our mind creates the reality of our experience. While you may be thinking that you could never have a root canal without anesthesia, I assure you it is possible if (and this is a big if) you were willing to believe that you could do it and took the time to learn the skills. Perhaps the most difficult part is the willingness to suspend our limiting beliefs, especially the ones that are unconscious. Research clearly shows that beliefs affect outcome. What people expect to happen tends to happen, in clinical research and in everyday life. Learning to use this human phenomenon to our advantage and becoming aware of our limiting beliefs allows us to expand our possibilities for change and growth.

The position of "observer", a place of detached attentiveness, allows us to notice things that might otherwise go unseen because of emotional reaction or ego or cognitive involvement. There is no judgement, no fear, no ownership, but simply a pure state of awareness. It is a surrender to what is, an allowing of things to be, and allowing them to be okay. I was not actively participating in the experience of the root canal; I had stepped outside the event to have a different experience of the event. This process created an altered reality for me, one with no pain.

In Native American tradition, medicine men often fast in preparation for training experiences because of their belief that you can only take in new information when you are not already full, that fullness is a form of distraction that obscures our ability to observe and learn. And so an exercise to obtain wisdom might be to sit still in a meadow or on a hilltop for a day or two and just notice what goes on around you. We may not be willing (or believe ourselves able) to create the necessary arrangements to sit in a meadow for a day or two. Our lifestyles tend to be very full of distraction and busy-ness that seem to preclude taking that much time "off" to observe. But we can utilize smaller chunks of time and shift our perspective to a place of observation in a way that encourages the practice and can free us from unwanted pain. Next time you are sitting in your car at a railroad crossing or standing in a line, instead of distracting yourself with what is next on your list of things to do or being annoyed at having to wait, use that time to just notice what is around you. Stop thinking for a few moments and just observe, just notice, just breathe. Cultivate this practice at intervals when it is convenient to the situation. Then cultivate it daily, making time for it for a few minutes in your day. For many people, this process of observation serves as a powerful tool to seek wisdom and understanding in order to solve a problem, decrease pain, or gain new awareness.

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June Tidbit: The Small Pleasures of the Day

October Tidbit: Conscious Creation

Weekly Tidbit: Observation

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