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Conversations For Change

May Tidbit: Making Change

5/28/2012

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"Change is carrying out an activity against the habit of a lifetime".... FM Alexander

To be able to do something outside habitual activities is the goal of most people who seek coaching. Whether it is quitting a habit that has become a problem or learning to shift perspective, the essence of changing your life is being able to do something in different way. A desired change that seems challenging often goes against some personal survival program in operation beneath our awareness. Just as a child cannot carry out the threat of "I'm gonna hold my breath until I die!" , we cannot implement a change that threatens the security of our unconscious mind.

So why would losing weight or quitting smoking be so hard to do? Doesn't the unconscious mind know that it would be a good thing? It is important to remember that the unconscious mind is geared to survival. Experience says that the status quo is effective in keeping us alive, so any change is perceived as a possible threat.... even when we know we want that change. An activity that is hard to change usually has some beliefs about it being helpful or necessary that anchor it in place. Perhaps the behavior distracts you from uncomfortable feelings, or it seems to protect you in some way. You don't necessarily have to know what the specific beliefs are, but it is helpful to change how you use your mind if you want the behavior to change. 

Some techniques allow us to make changes in how we think without having to re-experience whatever it was that established those belief patterns. A Tappas Acupressure Technique (TAT) session, for example,  can create subtle shifts in internal awareness that lead to desired change without having to re-visit any emotional trauma. The Alexander Technique restores freedom to the body  and the mind using lessons that implement the maxim of action following thought. Hypnosis can facilitate change by bring the conscious and unconscious into collaboration for a mutual goal.

One simple way to begin changing beliefs that are rooted in fear (and most limiting beliefs are) is to notice where you have support, both physical and emotional, and to choose to allow that support to provide some relief from tension. That in and of itself is a change, and further changes are more likely to happen in an environment of support than in an environment of tension. Whether it is from a person, a group, or the very earth beneath your feet, allow yourself to receive support, for support allows choices, opening doors to new possibilities in thought and action.


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    Author

    Charly Hill is a Life Skills Coach and Self Empowerment Teacher.
    She has a MA in counseling and recently retired her California Marriage, Family and Child Therapist license. 

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