Common ways people respond when they make mistakes:
1. Get angry at themselves
2. Blame someone else
3. Look at what can be learned from the mistake
4. Pretend nothing happened
5. Forgive and move on
6. Give up if you can’t do it right the first time
7. Try again with careful attention
8. Feel shame
Which applies to you and how well does that response serve you? What would it take for you to choose a different response? There seems to be an overcast of shame that may people experience at the thought of mistakes. Choosing to recognize that mistakes are how we learn and discover new things can make the experience of making a mistake more proactive. Many of us were punished for making mistakes when we were children. While of course that makes an imprint on our subconscious, it is important to remember that we are no longer children and that we are no longer at the mercy of whomever levied that power. Living in the past rarely serves us well. And while some mistakes can be devastating, most are not. It is important to make good choices and changing your belief about the value of mistakes might help in changing your response to them, allowing you to feel better, have better relationships, and maybe even discover something important. “The only sure way to avoid making a mistake is to have no new ideas.” (Albert Einstein)
Amazing things that were discovered when someone made a mistake:
Penicillin
Inkjet printers
Pacemakers
Xrays
Chocolate chip cookies
If you make a mistake that hurts someone, by all means make amends. ‘Amend’ literally means 'to change' and perhaps the best amend is to stop doing whatever it was you did that caused pain. Your ability to make that change is enhanced by numbers 3, 5, and 7 above, while the others tend to be 'conversations for no change' and reinforce the status quo. As we approach Thanksgiving, we might choose to be grateful for the mistakes that have taught new things and maybe even saved our lives.