Tension is a response to feeling a lack of support and it occurs on physical, emotional, and cognitive levels. Fluid tension is necessary for the mechanics of movement; patterns of holding tension may develop in both mind and body to compensate for the pain of not feeling supported and connected. This can create lifestyle imbalances that may manifest as chronic pain, distrust in relationships, overachieving, controlling behavior, or self sabotage. Much of this occurs on an unconscious level.
Balance is an important factor for support. If we are not balanced in our body, the support offered by the ground may feel shakey for us. If we believe we are unsafe in relationships we are likely to perpetuate situations that reinforce that core belief, often choosing people who will act according to our expectations. The unconscious mind has a tendency to prefer to be right over happy because it sees being right as essential to survival and being happy as not quite as important. Part of our task is to find better balance and reeducate ourselves as to the availability of happiness, exploring how we can feel supported and experience more joy. Learning to open to receive rather than closing to protect is a powerful lesson for this process.
When we feel safe we can relax, and learning how to relax can contribute to a sense of safety. Here's another opportunity to use your imagination to create more of what you want in your life: imagine receiving support from everything around you. Start with the ground and feel the way the ground offers support to your feet when you are standing. Feel the support of a chair when you sit, the support of a handrail as you transverse stairs or walkways. Now imagine the very air around you offers support. It nourishes you and provides a medium for you to move through, in a similar way as water provides a medium for the swimmer. Allow yourself to feel and receive and be aware of support from all that surrounds you... including other people. Lack of safety in early years is notorious for creating 'lone rangers' with lifestyle pattern that may include lack of trust in others, a need for extreme independence, or the desire to be in control at all times. This often this leads to shutting others out despite our desire for connection and closeness. Challenge the belief that because you lacked support at one time that you will always lack it. Imagine what your life is like with love and support and live it that way. Yes, you may still fall down occasionally but that does not mean it is necessary to be on guard all the time. Listen to your inner wisdom to let you know when it is time to be cautious.... and remember that even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and Silver to back him up.