Common patterns of stress include uncertainty (worry about not knowing how something will turn out), resistance to accepting reality (denial), and over attachment to one archetypal role (especially that of Victim, Judge, Martyr or Hero). Humans have a wide range of roles that they take on during their lifetime. Flexibility between these roles allows for for good development of coping skills, including how to let go of things that are beyond our control. If you are out of balance, stuck in one role, it limits your ability to deal with stress and often creates maladaptive patterns that cause even more stress. As Abraham Maslow’s law of the instrument reads: “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”.
Stress can also be assessed from a psychological point of view as to whether it is acute (sudden onset), episodic (happens periodically) and chronic (constant). All forms of stress evoke physical as well as mental responses. You might find your thoughts running wild with worry, problems with sleep, anxiety, depression, gastric distress, weight loss or gain, or your blood pressure rising. Perhaps our bodies are simply telling us it is time to make a change in the way we think or behave, that our old coping skills need updating.
What to do? It is helpful to become familiar with the type of stress you are under, the thought patterns that support it, and then engage in therapeutic activities to bring you back to balance. Journaling or talking with a supportive person can facilitate awareness as to what perpetuates your stress reactions. With that information you can develop a plan to bring yourself to a calmer place with new or better coping skills. Cognitive therapy to change limiting beliefs, meditation, assertion training, exercise, asking for help, gratitude, spiritual succor, setting boundaries, learning new skills, yoga, breath work, and dietary changes are but a few of the tools you can use.
Remember that stress is not necessarily negative. Stress is what pushes for adaptations; it motivates change and can be exactly what we need to get to where we need to go. The Japanese symbol for crisis includes symbols for danger and opportunity, and it has been said that the ability to adapt to change is the most important of all traits for survival of a species.