The feeling of powerlessness is probably the most challenging of all emotions, often leaving us without any sense of direction or control. It is frequently the under lying emotion behind other feelings, with anger, anxiety, and depression foremost on the list. Codependency, addiction, bullying, and other compulsive behaviors often have roots in a need to avoid feeling helpless. And perhaps the extreme discomfort that accompanies powerlessness is a contributing factor to the obsession with power and wealth often seen in our culture. We humans do not like to feel powerless and many seem to be far more comfortable replacing it with anger or aggression in pursuit of some sense of power.
There is another way to look at powerlessness. Author Anne Lamont once referred to it as a “superpower of old age”, suggesting that acquired wisdom will allow us to recognize that things will usually work out without our needing to control them. If we can recognize and accept when we are actually powerless we can let go of torturing ourselves with worrisome thoughts and recriminations. Awareness of where we are powerless allows us to focus on things where we do have control : our own thoughts and behaviors. With wisdom we begin to recognize that we cannot control or be responsible for the behavior of other people, but we can choose how to respond to their behavior, and in that choice is our power.
Learning to accept reality does not mean we passively go along with everything. There are times to speak up and times to take action for change. We need the wisdom to distinguish where we can create positive change and where we cannot, and that can be confusing. Even with an experience that is profoundly disruptive and beyond our ability to impact (think earthquake, loss of a beloved, wildfire, political insanity) we can use it as a crucible to explore our resilience and adaptability, to develop new skills and explore alternatives, to “think outside the box” in order to make better choices. It can be a powerful opportunity for creative growth as we learn to navigate the rapids and flux of the world we live in.
There is another way to look at powerlessness. Author Anne Lamont once referred to it as a “superpower of old age”, suggesting that acquired wisdom will allow us to recognize that things will usually work out without our needing to control them. If we can recognize and accept when we are actually powerless we can let go of torturing ourselves with worrisome thoughts and recriminations. Awareness of where we are powerless allows us to focus on things where we do have control : our own thoughts and behaviors. With wisdom we begin to recognize that we cannot control or be responsible for the behavior of other people, but we can choose how to respond to their behavior, and in that choice is our power.
Learning to accept reality does not mean we passively go along with everything. There are times to speak up and times to take action for change. We need the wisdom to distinguish where we can create positive change and where we cannot, and that can be confusing. Even with an experience that is profoundly disruptive and beyond our ability to impact (think earthquake, loss of a beloved, wildfire, political insanity) we can use it as a crucible to explore our resilience and adaptability, to develop new skills and explore alternatives, to “think outside the box” in order to make better choices. It can be a powerful opportunity for creative growth as we learn to navigate the rapids and flux of the world we live in.
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