Trauma results from experience that is deeply distressing, perhaps even life threatening, and overwhelms our sense of being able to cope. We all experience trauma; it’s part of life. Accidents happen, beloveds betray us, there are natural disasters and wars, terminal diseases, people leave us, and we feel powerless. At times we can shake it off and move forward, but sometimes people seem to get stuck and live in the trauma to the point of even recreating the very problem that they fear. In the extreme it can manifest as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and have huge negative impact on lives. But even in less dramatic situations, it can manifest exactly what we don’t want to create.
In the wild a zebra that narrowly escapes a lion attack will literally shake it off their body and go back to grazing, seemingly unaffected. They recognize the danger is past. Humans seem to struggle with keeping focus in the present moment and letting go of what happened 5 minutes ago, or 5 or 50 years ago. If a young baseball player strikes out at his first time at bat and he carries the fear of striking out again to his next time at bat, he is likely to strike out again. A good coach will teach him to be calm and confident at bat, to be focused on the ball, his stance and swing, focused in that moment, and not be thinking about the last time he was at bat.
One way to facilitate that state of relaxed competence is to start with awareness of your thoughts and feelings in order to reshape them towards calmness and assertion.Thoughts and feelings are simply energy and if we can maintain a positive energetic focus on what is happening right now as opposed to what happened before or what might happen in the future, we will feel different and the outcome will be different. Attitude and energy shape the experience. If we are still in the energy of past anxiety or future fear it affects our performance as well as the reaction of others around us. Cultivating a sense of calm assertion allows us to make better decisions and handle situations in more productive ways.
My high school drama teacher beautifully illustrated how this works. In our very first class, each student in turn was asked to go onstage and stand there alone with all the other students looking at them. Each person initially looked terrified as they stepped onstage, their fearful thoughts almost visible. The teacher then asked the student on the stage to count the number of boards that made up the wooden stage floor. Gradually the focus on the counting (in the here and now) overcame the stage fright (based on past experiences and future expectations) and the student relaxed and was okay with being onstage, okay with being watched, and this carried over into the classwork. Kudos to that very clever teacher.
Taking a deep and relaxing breath is one of the most common ways to help create a state of calm.The internet has lots more information on how to calm yourself, so if you need help with that, do some research and see what techniques work for you. And if you want to observe how well calm assertion works, watch any episode of The Dog Whisperer.
"Keep calm and carry on.” Winston Churchill and Doctor Who
In the wild a zebra that narrowly escapes a lion attack will literally shake it off their body and go back to grazing, seemingly unaffected. They recognize the danger is past. Humans seem to struggle with keeping focus in the present moment and letting go of what happened 5 minutes ago, or 5 or 50 years ago. If a young baseball player strikes out at his first time at bat and he carries the fear of striking out again to his next time at bat, he is likely to strike out again. A good coach will teach him to be calm and confident at bat, to be focused on the ball, his stance and swing, focused in that moment, and not be thinking about the last time he was at bat.
One way to facilitate that state of relaxed competence is to start with awareness of your thoughts and feelings in order to reshape them towards calmness and assertion.Thoughts and feelings are simply energy and if we can maintain a positive energetic focus on what is happening right now as opposed to what happened before or what might happen in the future, we will feel different and the outcome will be different. Attitude and energy shape the experience. If we are still in the energy of past anxiety or future fear it affects our performance as well as the reaction of others around us. Cultivating a sense of calm assertion allows us to make better decisions and handle situations in more productive ways.
My high school drama teacher beautifully illustrated how this works. In our very first class, each student in turn was asked to go onstage and stand there alone with all the other students looking at them. Each person initially looked terrified as they stepped onstage, their fearful thoughts almost visible. The teacher then asked the student on the stage to count the number of boards that made up the wooden stage floor. Gradually the focus on the counting (in the here and now) overcame the stage fright (based on past experiences and future expectations) and the student relaxed and was okay with being onstage, okay with being watched, and this carried over into the classwork. Kudos to that very clever teacher.
Taking a deep and relaxing breath is one of the most common ways to help create a state of calm.The internet has lots more information on how to calm yourself, so if you need help with that, do some research and see what techniques work for you. And if you want to observe how well calm assertion works, watch any episode of The Dog Whisperer.
"Keep calm and carry on.” Winston Churchill and Doctor Who
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