There is a scene in Beth Henley's tragicomedy 'Crimes of the Heart' in which one of the characters talks about the suicide of her mother. In her sweet Mississippi accent, with heart rending empathy, Babe says of her mother, "She just had a bad day. A real bad day." The line is delivered in such a way that the audience wants to laugh and cry at the same time. 

We've all had those bad days, when everything seems to fall apart, break down, or otherwise fly into irreparable pieces. When all of our usual coping strategies lead us to 'hit the wall', and overwhelm sets in. Despite our best attempts to make sense of what is going on we just can't. We may find ourselves in a void, a place of fear and confusion, and try to fill it with our old familiar thoughts and emotional memories. Perhaps not helpful, but it is certainly human to feel abandoned, to wonder why this is happening to me.... to try to make the pieces of the present puzzle fit together based on past history. But if we build our present solely upon the past, we only get more of the same.

Carolyn Myss, author and teacher, suggests that the practice of what she calls 'illumination' can serve as an alternative approach that allows for a new outcome. She writes about quieting the reasonable mind that wants answers, and seeking another experience of perception.  In Entering the Castle, she wrote, " Pause and observe with appreciation all the so-called small things of the world around you. Put all of your perceptual senses in slow motion.... say 'I am exactly where I am supposed to be. All is as it should be. The divine is active in every detail. Therefore every detail is serving a divine purpose and influencing my life in this moment.'" And then open your intuitive mind, and breathe, and listen in the silence. 

The root word in 'emergency' is 'emergence', the process of coming into being. The Japanese symbol for 'crisis' is the same used to represent the concept of 'opportunity'. What opportunity might emerge if we take off the constraints of our past overlays of thought and emotion and simply open ourselves, simply surrender to what is with an open heart and mind. We might find deeper connections, and we might not have to be so afraid of the unknown. We might receive divine guidance, we might see things a new way based on mindfulness, appreciation, and grace. 
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I have come to believe that everything unfolds in perfect divine order, that everything that happens is a lesson here in Earth School, and that what actually happens to us is not as important as how we deal with it. This is quite a different philosophy than the one I used to live by, and it was severely challenged five years ago when my house was infested with ticks. 

Brown dog ticks are the only ticks that have been known to  take over a human habitat. Being a researcher, I learned more about BDTs than I wanted to know. Given the reproductive rate, it is fair to assume that I had between 2,000 and 8,000 ticks in my home. Living in my rugs, furniture, clothes, walls, and of course on my dog, they took over my consciousness and my life.  I wore only white clothes because I could hold them up to the light and see if they were already occupied.  I pulled more than 50 ticks off my dog every day. I could only sleep with the lights on, and then fitfully at best. I could not relax in my house. I realized I was in trouble when one walked over my foot while I was talking on the phone and I started to hyper-ventilate. Being petro-sensitive, I could not even consider pesticides, since all professionally used pesticides at that time were petroleum based. I  diagnosed myself with Acute Anxiety Disorder and felt hopeless, like I was being held hostage with no way out other than to abandon my home.

Obviously, I did find a solution. But that is not important to this story (unless of course, you have ticks, in which case, please contact me!)What I learned from this experience was  not to give up hope, to have faith that I would be led to a solution. And  I learned that I was brave and resourceful, that I could call out my Warrior self. In this experience, I reclaimed parts of me that I had lost. There was a time I used to call my friend Bonnie to come and take ticks off my dog because I couldn't bring myself to do it; today there are very few situations that intimidate me (and none of them involve removing creepy crawlies).  I learned that I did not have to solve all my problems by myself and it really was OK to ask for help. I learned that if you talk to enough people, someone can give you a direction and that research pays off. I learned that I could get a grip on myself even when I was stressed to the max.  I learned that my biggest problem was not my situation, but my fear. And that if I could face my fear, if I could turn to love and faith and open my mind to seeing something new, I could find my way home again. And I learned to be grateful for the challenging things that happen because they bring powerful lessons. I learned to practice gratitude no matter what: every day that I was not bitten by a tick, I was grateful for that. I lived with thousands of blood sucking parasites in a relatively small house and not once was I bitten. What a blessing that was!

In Japanese writing, the symbol for crisis is the same symbol that is used for opportunity. I've known that little tidbit for a long time, but I didn't really "get it" until the ticks taught me. Everything is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and to call back parts of ourselves that we have lost. It's all good, it's all part of the lesson plan. 

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