As the days of December carry us closer towards Christmas, it is good to take a breath and slow down, so the people and things most important to us don't get lost in the hustle.  Counting down the days with an advent calender and lighting candles are traditional ways for some to anticipate and savor the coming events. This year I have started what I hope will be a new tradition for me: to mark the remaining days  by writing down an appreciation for each day. Today I am grateful for the willingness and knowledge of how to create a mindful holiday experience.

Holidays are about anticipation. Sometimes people anticipate a negative thing and then devote precious energy to watching for it to happen. A better choice is keeping the focus on what brings joy to your season, on what you want to create this holiday. And it is important to remember that we always do have choices. For example, if you think about your holiday "to do" list as a "have to" list ( I have to buy presents, I have to make cookies, I have to call Aunt Tillie) you probably generate additional stress. Notice what happens in your body when you think of 'have to'.  Odds are good that your shoulders squeeze in, the head sags down...the situation is driving you rather than the other way around. Instead, can you notice that critical moment when you react out of habit and make a different choice? Even if it is something as simple as to choose to not squeeze your shoulders, to open and relax them, even for a moment. Every time we choose a different response we are blazing new neural pathways in our brain, and beginning to establish new patterns that can create new outcomes. 

What other choices can you think of to improve your holiday experience? The simple act of paying attention is powerful. Think about your goal for the day and ask yourself whether your choice at any given moment leads you closer to that goal or further away from it, and make your decisions accordingly. Practicing acceptance of other people and things as they are rather than the way you want them to be can relieve a lot of pressure. Choosing to allow yourself to be human and to take some rest when you need it is another option we sometimes overlook when we get caught up in the holiday. Simply staying mindful of your choices is a great gift to give yourself and your loved ones. The more we focus on what is in right in front of us, the more we might realize what we have. 

Wishing for every one a happy holiday season filled with love and light.
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A lot of things in life require attention to thrive and grow. We recognize that our children, our friendships, our skills, the garden, our pets all benefit from positive attention. The practice of gratitude is also one of those things that blooms with our consideration, and choosing to focus on appreciation as part of our daily routine can enrich the day and bring good cheer. The holidays are upon us and they offer times of celebration. What if this year we take the time to celebrate what we already have? Here are three questions for contemplation that might help make your holiday adventures more enjoyable this year.  

* Who are you grateful for in your life today? What person or persons bring a smile to your face or joy to your heart? Perhaps one of the gifts you give this season could be to let them know how much you value them. 

* What is one experience from your childhood that you are thankful for? Was there something that happened that made you stronger or smarter or happier? 

* What is something that you use every day, perhaps without even noticing it, that makes your life better? 

In her book State of Wonder, Ann Patchett cautioned, "Never be so focused on the thing you are looking for that you overlook the thing you find". Sometimes we are so intent on getting what we want or to where we think we should be that we lose awareness of what is around us. This time of year I practice gratitude for the beauty of winter light. The shortness of the autumn day makes it all the more valuable, and sometimes I feel like I don't get enough of the sun. So I choose to make a point of noticing the light, of taking a minute to stop and stand in it, soaking it up and being thankful for the way it spills into the room or dresses my garden with highlight and shadow. And when I do that, it does feel like enough at that moment, and I have brought contentment into my day.

We are at a position in the evolution of our species where we are learning more and more to live with uncertainty. Many of the day to day decisions we make have become so complex that we cannot predict the consequences. Yet, one point of power that we do have is the ability to choose where to direct our thoughts. We often cannot stop intrusive thoughts from popping into our mind, but we can choose to shift the gears and redirect our attention to cultivating gratitude for what we have right now. This day will never come again; use your thoughts to make it a good one. 
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There is a story about a woman crying on a bus. She sits alone and even though she cries very softly into her handkerchief, the people nearest her  begin to take notice of her tears. Gradually, the whole bus grows aware of this woman crying and the atmosphere on the bus changes, becoming silent and respectful. One man from the very back of the bus slowly walks forward and sits next to the woman. He gently puts his arm around her, and sitting quietly without looking at her, he offers the simple comfort of his presence and his arm. The bus continues to move forward in the midday traffic. 

People often muse about their purpose here on earth, wondering if there is something they are 'supposed to be doing'. Perhaps our true purpose for being here is to simply offer presence, attention and compassion. Maybe we don't need to be a superhero and take down the person or thing that made another cry, or solve their problem, or fix what is broken. Small acts of loving kindness allow us to be a channel of divine grace and to recognize our interconnectedness, and perhaps even to know more about our true selves. 

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote: "It is my understanding that the heath of the planet is affected by the health of every individual on it. As long as even two souls are locked in conflict, the whole of the world is contaminated by it. Similarly, if even one or two souls can be free from discord, they will increase the general health of the whole world, the way a few healthy cells in a body can increase the general health of the body."  

Life is short. No matter how long you live, it is probably not going to seem long enough, so you might as well appreciate each other and everything around you while you can. Gift someone with a smile and enjoy your good. Speak kindly to others and to yourself.  Choose thoughts and words and actions that promote being well. We are all riding on the bus.


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Once upon a time, an English Literature professor in a NY college asked his class what kind of trees lined the walkway to the English building. Not a single student was able to identify the type of tree; most were unaware that there even were trees along the path. This lack of connection with the natural world and the consequences of self absorption in our own tiny mental habitation became the topic of discussion, both in real life and in literature. Lewis Carroll and Dostoyevsky were on the reading list that semester. 

Following the coldest winter and then the hottest summer in forty years, we were blessed here on the Treasure Coast of Florida with a totally glorious Indian Summer. Last week I walked on my favorite beach and found myself hypnotized by the sun and the waves in the balmy 80 degree weather. A smile opened my face and gratitude expanded my heart. Moments of bliss like that sometimes sneak up on me. They seem a miracle of the moment, a vivid shift of perception (almost like falling down a rabbit hole) that gives me the ability to really see what is around me. These moments are so lovely that I am teaching myself to look for them in order to have more.

Today I kept warm with cashmere and wool, and admired the extraordinary quality of the gold autumn sunshine as it bathed my room with amber light in the morning hours. I find that staying close with nature keeps my heart open, even when nature expresses herself with bitter winds or heavy rains. I remind myself that it is the frigid cold of the high desert that makes the most exquisitely soft down to grow on Kashmir goats, and it is the seasonal heat that causes them to shed this amazing undercoat that ends up knit into my beloved socks. 

As we move through November towards Thanksgiving, take time to notice the natural beauty around you. Make time for a walk in woods, the beach, or in the park, or even gaze out the rainy window and look for the colors of the rainbow. Notice the trees on your path. It is easy to get lost in busy-ness or in the noise of your own mind; how much more fun to get caught up in appreciation of what is around you. Perhaps this is what Einstein meant when he said  "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." 

Have a wonderful and grateful Thanksgiving season.
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