While horsing around in Oregon mountains last week, I read  Whole Heart, Whole Horse by Mark Rashid and came upon an intriguing question: Which is stronger: the Grand Canyon that contains the Colorado River or the Colorado River that carved the Grand Canyon? The Colorado River is a classic symbol of power and strength, and the force of its flow created a passageway through fossilized rock. And the Grand Canyon, known for its size and unmatched scenic vistas, is a symbol of majestic and rugged beauty that contains and directs the mighty waters of the Colorado River. 

Obviously an argument can be made for either point of view depending on your perspective, which was exactly the author's point: perspective is everything.  How do you see things? What are your values, expectations, intentions? Are they the same for the person or horse you are attempting to communicate with? Which is better, this style of approach or another? To insist that my way of seeing things is the only right way is to limit my vistas and possibilities and often leads to conflict.

People bring their horses to Rashid because they cannot get them to act the way they want them to act. What this successful trainer brings to each situation is the willingness to explore different perspectives, to experiment and see what might work to change the status quo, to open hearts for resolution of behavioral conflict. There is no punishment, no correcting to the "right way" to do or be. His flow of attention is like the river, his respect for boundaries like the rock, and I was reminded of the childhood game of Rock - Paper - Scissors. Scissors cuts paper which covers rock which breaks scissors. Each has its strengths and weaknesses depending on where you stand.

So when you are feeling stuck, you might try on a new perspective. Just because your horse or child or employee or parent is not following the instructions you think you are giving, it does not necessarily mean what you think it means if you are thinking only from your own point of view. It is usually harder to find a solution without knowing what the problem is, so take time to learn the other's  perspective. Water and earth are not the same, but they were both essential in the creation of the Grand Canyon. 
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Stress has been linked to myriad diseases and has had thousands of articles written about it. Some people believe it is unavoidable; others see it as self generated. Here are three categories of stress and some suggestions for using situations as opportunities to deepen your healing practice:

A. Uncertainty: Wanting to know something that is unknowable. Examples would be worrying about what will happen at some point in the future: will I get the job, will he like me, will the plane be on time for my connection, what will happen as I get older, will my son be OK if ...... The suspense aspect of this stress style has addictive qualities and is even used to market films and TV series in our culture.
To minimize negative impact:
1. Be here now, ground yourself to the moment, this is where you live.
2. Choose to relax using your breath or your thoughts. 
3. Take responsibility for what you need to do to create your desired outcome.
4. Visualize your desired outcome; put out your request to the universe, act as if it is already granted to you.
5. Choose to believe that everything unfolds in perfect divine order (know that a belief is simply a thought that you tell yourself is true).

B. Resisting Reality: Wanting people, places and things to be different than they are. This category abounds daily: wanting traffic to move, workers to do their jobs they way you would do them, other people to talk or act differently in accordance with your preferences, wanting (or not wanting) a specific kind of weather, wanting someone to understand you when they are not willing to.....
To minimize negative impact:
1. Become aware / conscious / mindful of your feelings and your choices.
2. Let go of trying to force and control the world; quit resisting the way it is.
3. Recognize that everyone is perfect the way they are, it is all earth school, and we are all in it together. 
4. Practice the fine art of allowing.
5. Embody your beliefs; be forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, patience. 

C. Assuming Victim or Martyr Role:  Giving up responsibility for creating your own life and giving others the power to "make you feel" bad or good. "They take advantage of my good nature.... I give and give and get nothing in return..... It never works out for me..... It's not my fault..... They are always making me, asking me...... I can't do this (lose weight, quit smoking, get a job)because......". 
To minimize negative impact:
1. Get excited about coming to know who you really are outside of this role.
2. Let go of blame and judgement, especially of self.
3. Accept responsibility for yourself and your choices; how did you contribute to this situation, what is your part?
4. Learn to say no, sometimes to others, but mostly to yourself when you start the litany in your mind of how bad it is / they are or what you "cannot do because". This is a  perfect time to inhibit your negative self talk and redirect your thoughts to a path that supports new possibilities.
5. Give thanks for all things and be grateful for the challenges and the pain. They are your teachers and let you know when you are out of balance and what you need to work on.

And for all of them: Ask for guidance and support, from the divine and from this earthly life. And be willing to receive, for it will be given.
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We are always "thinking". Even in our sleep, the unconscious mind is sorting, registering, processing, dreaming. There is a constant conversation going on in our mind that  we may or may not be aware of. If we put our attention to listening we might notice the repetitive nature of our inner thoughts and the perspectives they support. If we take the effort to observe this conversation, we might be surprised at what we discover about our beliefs. If we take control of this conversation, we will find that we are indeed in charge of our emotional state. 

As an experiment, I spent 10 minutes consciously being grateful for everything I came in contact with during that period. I thanked the refrigerator for keeping my food cold when I took an apple, and my teeth for allowing me to eat that apple. This was on a day the temperature was in the 90's, so I was totally grateful to my AC for doing its job and I appreciated the roof over my head to keep the sun at bay. I was grateful to my terrazzo floor for helping to keep the house cool. I loved my Macbook for its ability to effortlessly connect me to people I cared about. You get the picture. I found myself smiling and being happy at the end of those minutes, flooded with  gratitude and happy with my life. 

So, then I took 10 minutes to think about things that concerned me in a worrisome way. Business is slow all over. Will I make enough money to buy what I need? The cost of gas is on the way up again. There is a war going on. I don't know if we are having hurricanes this season. The rugs are full of sand. The weeds have taken over the garden. My parents are getting old. Big Pharm is really getting scary. OK, you get the picture on this one, too. This exercise did not leave me smiling. I felt uncomfortable in my body, restless in my mind. And I did it to myself with my thoughts.

So what goes on in my head when I am not consciously choosing my thoughts? Old unconscious programs are writing the script, creating my reality, my emotions, my life. I can inhibit that process by choosing where to put my attention. And if I redirect my attention on what is working in my life, I can feel good. "Positive emotions create bodily sensations of openness and expansiveness. They invite the world in........ Negative emotions create a tight, contracted feeling. Everything pulls inward. The world is pushed away. Positive feelings invite unity. Negative feelings invite isolation."  Joan Borysenko, Minding the Body. 

So what goes on in your head all day? Abraham / Hicks encourages us to "work to improve the way you feel, not the situation." I can do that if I consciously choose to redirect my thoughts when they start heading for the dark side. (I can also use energy work to re-write those old scripts; but that's another tidbit.) 


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